Book Review: The Other Mother

As a parent, time is precious. As a newer mother, I am frequently reminded of this from others through helpful, albeit unprompted, advice. For instance, I have been told many times to "enjoy my children while they are young". And that because "time passes so quickly" I need to "take advantage of every moment" since "before you know it, they will be in school" and then it's "off to college."

I guess time is the biggest battle that we all face. Whether we have kids or not, whether we work outside the home, inside the home, or stay at home to raise our young ones. We are fighting against the hours, minutes, and seconds that make up each and every day we face. And while doing this, the mundane - the chores, the work, the minutea of living - every once in a while there may appear a stab of guilt telling us we are ignoring someone. Maybe it's our son or daughter who is with a caregiver for the day while we attend to our "work" lives, maybe it is our spouse as we rush to a fro each morning and night so we can get through our laundry list of "to dos" before the day escapes us, or maybe it is ourselves - our own thoughts and dreams about what we want and need out of life.

I just finished reading The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross and for me, it illustrated the rhythms of life. The choices we face along with the hopes and dreams we decide to keep, to let go, or to just put on hold as life gets more complicated when "family" enters the picture.

"The Other Mother" is a fictional story of two mothers; one is an experienced stay-at-home mom of three ("Thea") and the other is a working mom who is having her first child ("Amanda"). The story is beautifully written and immediately draws you into each mom's world from the very beginning. In fact, as someone who recently "left the workplace" to stay at home with her toddler and newborn infant, I actually found a little bit of myself in both characters. The juxtaposition of these two women, tied together with a thread of mystery made it impossible for me to put down.

"The Other Mother" clearly illustrates the self-doubt that is a part of parenthood, the firm convictions that we carry with us - be they right or wrong, and the special treat of being able to really see issues from a perspective other than our own.

Congratulations to you, Gwendolen, for giving us the gift of new perspectives and for reminding us that as a parent, each decision made is much more complex and very often much more agonizing that one might originally consider.