My husband, KB, and I are celebrating our 7th year here in Silicon Valley. Wahoo!! We love it tremendously and it has a been a very good move for us. Great in fact! We have truly found our home. At the same time, since we've been here our family has grown to include 3.5 year old Poppy and just-about-to-turn-one year old Sweet Pea. Needless to say, that is where the guilt enters the picture.
Usually being so far away from our families is not so bad. In my case, being the youngest in a big family, it gives me my "breathing room." At other times, like now, I'm sorry I was born Catholic.
The girls and I just got back from visiting with both sides of the family in the Midwest. This was a terrific visit for Poppy and her cousin, R. They had a great time playing together and even though R is about 5 years older than Poppy, they seemed to be more like sisters during this visit. In fact, both girls had their first "sleep over" and then they had a second playdate since they wanted more time together. Ugh! Mommy translation: "This would happen all the time and the girls would really know each other more as cousins if we lived closer, say not 3500 miles away."
As if that wasn't bad enough, Sweet Pea is "cruising" and she took her first independent steps while we were at my parents house. Of course they were in their glory and I was more than happy that they witnessed this important milestone. The guilt came later that day when the girls and I went out to lunch with my parents and we drove by the first house that my husband and I ever owned. As we drove by, it was exciting for me to explain to Poppy that mommy and daddy planted the landscaping that was still there and thriving. And it was mommy who installed the matching porch light and mailbox that were still on the house. Then I heard my dad in the front seat say under his breath "Yeah, and we could see you guys whenever we wanted to." Ouch! Yet another splash of guilt.
While it helps that I am now a SAHM so I have enough time to visit with the girls, we also have to juggle planning these trips on a single-income budget. The old "double-edged sword" theory. So I'm wondering - how do you do it? I know that there are a ton of other parents out here in Silicon Valley in exactly our situation. What are your secrets for avoiding the family guilt?
Crossposted on Silicon Valley Mom's Blog as JB.
I am SO glad you are back! I get the same guilt trip from my parents who live in this time zone a state. ugh!
Posted by: Sheila BD - xiaolinmama | October 09, 2007 at 09:53 AM