Go-Go Mommy

Hip Poetry: Squish Goes the Spider

Here is a wonderful poem in honor of Halloween. It was written by a new poet who is just beginning to find his voice: my brother, PH.

Squish Goes the Spider!

My name is Mike
And bugs I like
But spiders are a different kind
One I sure hope never to find
There's something on the rug
I can see it's no bug

Squish goes the spider!

I look up and see a web
Made by one I call Jeb
I knock it down with a broom
Across the floor it starts to zoom
It looks like its about to frown
As I run it down

Squish goes the spider!

Two in one day
Pretty good I have to say
Sometimes I miss and they flee
Smiling back at me with glee
To me they really are a pest
Of this I do not jest

Squish goes the spider!

If one escapes my sight
My sis always would be full of fright
She screams when one is on the wall
And just watches it fall
I don't want one to bite her

Squish goes the spider!

Hey kids, wait up!

Second chances. Everyone wants them but rarely gets them. Everyone knows that hindsight is 20/20 and there is little one can do to in the light of a new day to manufacture a different result. What better time to preform a little magic and create my own second chance than on Halloween?

Today is Tuesday, October 30, and tomorrow, KB and I actually get an opportunity to play Superman. Not because we're both dressing up for Halloween in matching blue body suits, red tights, and red capes - although it's quite a picture! Rather, it's more like we get to fly super-fast around and around the earth so it rotates in reverse thus turning back time to a point where we can actually make a difference in Poppy's Halloween this year.

Last year, our beloved Sweet Pea was born prematurely on October 12. She was actually due on November 20th. After spending some time at LPCH's NICU, she came home before Halloween - my beautiful little pumpkin. Needless to say, the difficult pregnancy and delivery left me out of the loop for Halloween, 2006. Luckily, daddy came to the rescue but there were obstacles we had not anticipated!

Book Review: The Other Mother

As a parent, time is precious. As a newer mother, I am frequently reminded of this from others through helpful, albeit unprompted, advice. For instance, I have been told many times to "enjoy my children while they are young". And that because "time passes so quickly" I need to "take advantage of every moment" since "before you know it, they will be in school" and then it's "off to college."

I guess time is the biggest battle that we all face. Whether we have kids or not, whether we work outside the home, inside the home, or stay at home to raise our young ones. We are fighting against the hours, minutes, and seconds that make up each and every day we face. And while doing this, the mundane - the chores, the work, the minutea of living - every once in a while there may appear a stab of guilt telling us we are ignoring someone. Maybe it's our son or daughter who is with a caregiver for the day while we attend to our "work" lives, maybe it is our spouse as we rush to a fro each morning and night so we can get through our laundry list of "to dos" before the day escapes us, or maybe it is ourselves - our own thoughts and dreams about what we want and need out of life.

I just finished reading The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross and for me, it illustrated the rhythms of life. The choices we face along with the hopes and dreams we decide to keep, to let go, or to just put on hold as life gets more complicated when "family" enters the picture.

"The Other Mother" is a fictional story of two mothers; one is an experienced stay-at-home mom of three ("Thea") and the other is a working mom who is having her first child ("Amanda"). The story is beautifully written and immediately draws you into each mom's world from the very beginning. In fact, as someone who recently "left the workplace" to stay at home with her toddler and newborn infant, I actually found a little bit of myself in both characters. The juxtaposition of these two women, tied together with a thread of mystery made it impossible for me to put down.

"The Other Mother" clearly illustrates the self-doubt that is a part of parenthood, the firm convictions that we carry with us - be they right or wrong, and the special treat of being able to really see issues from a perspective other than our own.

Congratulations to you, Gwendolen, for giving us the gift of new perspectives and for reminding us that as a parent, each decision made is much more complex and very often much more agonizing that one might originally consider.

Photo Friday! 10.26.07

To our first-born: Mr. B, B-Boy, Honeybear,
We send our love,
Mommy & Daddy

Review & Giveaway for Pet Lovers

So a Blonde Walks Into a Review has found some beautiful gifts for those suffering from the loss of a cherished pet at Ashes to Ashes Urn Keepsake and Jewelry Company. You can read about them here and enter her giveaway for an exquisite piece of "rememberance" jewelry.

Non-bloggers are welcome to enter by emailing three friends about this contest and then cc'ing "A Blonde" at: ablondeandherblog AT yahoo DOT com.

Good luck!!

Blogging for a Cause: The Mothers Act

Today I blog in support of a very worthy cause: The Mothers Act. Although I typically like to keep my blogging to topics that are light, humorous, or related to the latest activities of my two girls, there are times that call for more serious dialogue. And this is one of them. So, I am participating in "Blog Day for the MOTHERS Act!".

The intent of the bill known as The Mothers Act is:
"To ensure that new mothers and their families are educated about postpartum depression, screened for symptoms, and provided with essential services, and to increase research at the National Institutes of Health on postpartum depression."

While I've never suffered from postpartum depression (PPD), I can't imagine being one of the 10-20% of new moms who do suffer from it. Let's face it, motherhood is difficult enough especially in the first few months. In today's world where so much is known about the "baby blues", PPD, and postpartum psychosis, it's time to help lift the weight of depression by erasing the shame and stigma associated with these conditions. And what better way than to simply TALK to new moms and sincerely ASK them how they are feeling. After all, there are moms and children out there who can greatly benefit from this Act.

I know that times can change and do change when there are there are enough voices calling out for it. Please add your voice to the mix by doing any or all of the following:
1. Blog about The Mothers Act today, October 14, 2007.
2. Link your blog to BlogHer here.
3. Display a Blog Day Mothers Act button on your site.
4. Call or write your Senator to support the Mothers Act. This Full House has provided an easy script for you:
"I'm calling because I want the Senator to vote for the MOTHERS Act, Senate Bill 1375.
I vote and live in the Senator's state."
5. Ask your friends and fellow bloggers to participate too!

Thank you!!

I also write at Silicon Valley Moms Blog as "JB".

"Women with Good Taste"

Back in 2004, a friend of mine and I had our first daughters around the same time - hers was born about 7 weeks before mine. The great thing was that as new mothers, we always compared notes. Notes about feeding and sleeping schedules, motor development, toys, and when the time was right, foods. That's when I first really thought about "partially hydrogenated oils." Funny how I'd never really been concerned for my own health but now that I was responsible for the growth and development of my little one, it was time to pay attention to what I'd been eating all these years. As our daughters were ready for "finger-foods" she warned me to look at the labels and not choose anything with "partially hydrogenated" in the list of ingrediants - and avoid them like the plague.

Since that time about 3 years ago, I have gotten a bit lax. Now that my second daughter is at the "finger-food" stage, another reminder has been sent my way. Eric Armstrong has written a great article about "What's Wrong with Partially Hydrongenated Oils." It was a great wake-up call for me (literally read it at 5:15am since Sweet Pea has been awake since 4:20am today - but that's another blog), not only for my concern for my little ones, but myself and my husband as well.

And what did I discover? I little history and what what I hope will be a tasty find. Welcome to the world of Laura Scudder. Not only was she Ukiah, California's first female attorney, Laura Scudder moved to Monterey Park, California in 1926 and was the first chip manufacturer to pioneer packing chips in bags to seal in freshness rather than use the standard barrel or tin packaging. And to top it all off, Scudders chips are one of two on the market today that are free of hydrogenation! (Click to find a retailer near you.)

I was also reminded by Armstrong that products may contain partially hydrogenated oils but still state they have 0% trans fats. As always, the key is the label. Since the food labels are based on a "standard" portion size, a portion could contain up to 2 grams partially hydrogenated oils (2.2 grams is the highest amount of trans fat permitted per serving) so it can still say "0% trans fat." Who knew?! I'm probably the only mom on the planet who has been looking at the calories/fat ratio but totally missing this important point.

Here's my question for those of us looking for tasty snack foods without partially hydrogenated oils: do they exist or are they merely an oxymoron?

Cross-posted at Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Photo Friday! 10.19.07

Poppy, NaNe, and Aunt G's artwork!

Project: Life Change - Update!

I finally did it - another step toward making significant strides in my life! It was not a huge step by any means. But as one of my favorite movie's explains, it's all about "baby steps!"

I actually got to go on a MNO last week at the oh-so-quaint Vino Locale in Palo Alto! The Food was organic and yummy, the wine was delizioso, and the company was the best part of it all. First, I got to go with my newest PAMP Parents' Club friend, "E". She is an awesome mom of a beautiful 9 month old daughter. We met at the oh-so hip photo shoot that our girls participated in a couple months ago. Thanks for a fun night, E!

Also, I learned that it's never too late to make new friends - especially when you are participating in Project: Life Change and you are making yourself available to change. I really enjoyed meeting the other moms there: "A" and I had a ton of fun talking about our little ones and found out they are even close to each other in age! And I even met a killer WAHM, "W", who has an awesome business creating and selling babyslings (among her many other ventures). She is a real inspiration and really made my night by saying that she already read Go-Go Mommy and especially liked "the potty blog." Wow! What a night.

Thanks again Stefania and Jessica - hope you enjoy the update!

Girlfriend please... talk to me when you're 40!

So I'm not 40...yet. And I won't tell you exactly how many years I am away from 40 either but I do have some to go. Still, I am coming upon my own "nearing 40" revelation and I need help with an interesting dilemma.

Here's the situation: I'm going to a wedding right after the New Year. It doesn't seem so bad at first, I mean, Sweet Pea just turned a year so I've still got a few months to loose the last pesky 10 lbs. that have been hanging on. Also, I haven't been the best at working out to "tone" myself but there's still time, right?

The problem I have is that although I'm attending the wedding of my husband's good friend since high school and we're all around the same age, his fiance is not. She's younger, her friends are younger... much younger, actually much, much younger. Now, I'm the youngest in a big family so I've never really had to think about "looking old." After all, all of my brothers, sisters, and cousins, are all older. Therefore, as the youngest, I naturally go about my business without thinking about how old I look.

The shocking realization is that I now may have to eat crow and actually give more than a passing thought to the issue of "how I look." Back when my husband and I met (and believe me it was a while ago) at 19, I got on my soapbox quite often and "aging" was one of my favorite topics. I spoke about how women as they age put too much concern into their looks. That as we age, we should be proud of those "laugh lines" - after all, they show how much joy we have gotten out of life! That trips to the plastic surgeon or other doctors for "treatments" were totally unnecessary. Yada, yada, yada.

So now that I'll be surrounded by Gen Y, is it time for a "procedure" myself? Do I hear the muse of microdermabrasion calling? A quick chemical peal or dare I say - botox? (By the way I'm still really creeped out by botox: both wanting it and seeing the actual results on some women who should never have gotten it.)

I guess the question is: Do I want to go to the reception and hear "She looks great!" or "She looks great for her age."? After all, clothes and accessories only hide so much.

Ah, how easy it is when you're 19!

Cross-posted on Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

First Birthday and Other Reasons to Celebrate!

I'm finally sitting down, I'm semi-awake, and I'm feeling a sense of triumph mingled with the frayed edges of exhaustion as another milestone is officially passed. There was much to celebrate. Mainly, today was the celebration of Sweet Pea's first birthday.

OMG, I can't believe our little "Segundo" is already one year old! She is my wise child with her pouty mouth and serious eyes that sparkle so brightly when she giggles at her own private jokes as she intently watches the world around her. My little preemie who gave me so much trouble during my pregnancy and then announced her impatience to be a part of our world a bit too soon - five and a half weeks too soon to be exact. So, instead of the "Little Turkey" I was supposed to deliver last year, she became my "Little Pumpkin." But I'm getting ahead of myself.

As I said, there has been much to celebrate. A year ago I was in my fifth month of doctor ordered bedrest and, coincidentially, we were in the sixth and final month of our half-house remodel. Thinking back, it was strange spending so much of my pregnancy memorizing the layouts, pros, and cons of area hotels; then coming home to a house that was waiting so long for all of it's parts to be put back together, and my best friends became my contractor and the "tile-guy" who put together the intricate glass tile in our kitchen. And the whole time, Sweet Pea was so low that every time I spoke with my MIL in Michigan, I told her Sweet Pea would come early which would bring me admonishments not to talk like that - as if not saying it out loud would change the outcome.

A year ago, l was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, monitored, poked, prodded, and finally informed that Sweet Pea was definitely on her way - all within the span of about 15 hours!

A year ago my blessed mother-in-law (NB) dropped everything when she got the call, my sturdy neo-natal nurse sister-in-law helped her pack, and she was with us in California a mere 14 hours later. Not only did NB immediately fly out here, but she stayed with us for seven weeks and helped us all beyond measure.

A year ago, on the day after the delivery, I was told that I looked very "Elizabethan" by my pediatrician but luckily my obstatrician declared I would not (thank heaven) need to have a blood transfusion.

A year ago, our family expanded by one. My fireball, Poppy, was awed as she looked at her new little sis at the hospital and when she finally came home, Poppy happily welcomed Sweet Pea.

A year ago, my incredible hubby was calm when I needed him to be, brave when I wasn't, optimistic (at least in front of me) and did everything in his power to make sure his family was taken care of in every way.

Now... I'd say there are a few reasons to celebrate!

Remember when...?

Fun lovin', sometimes heartwrenching, but always hip sayings by Poppy at age 3 and a half:

-----
When Poppy wants to watch the news: "Mommy, let's see what's happening in the world."

----
Question: Poppy, what does daddy do for a living?
Answer: He sucks his thumb.

----
Papa and Grandma were babysitting one night during dinner while Go-Go Mommy got a haircut. Apparently, Poppy is getting used to Mommy being at home:

Poppy: I'll have something else to eat.
Grandma: This is a special dinner mommy wants you to have tonight.
Poppy: I'm sad. I miss mommy.
Papa: If you eat this, you can have pineapple. (Which Papa and Grandma
just brought from their trip to Hawaii.)
Poppy: (Going over to the front door with one hand on her hip.) I'm not in the mood. I'm sad, I'm jealous, and I'm angry.

----
Poppy's Favorite Joke:
Why did the elf run out of the kitchen?
Because the recipe said crack one egg and beat it!

Want to share your kid's classics? I'd love to hear them!

Posting from Email

Go-Go Mommy's attempt at advanced technology: posting via email. Here goes - I'll keep my fingers crossed!

If this makes it through cyberspace to my blog, please let me know about your biggest high-tech accomplishment(s) so I can learn and increase my hip points!

____________________________________________________________________________________ Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.
http://searchmarketing.yahoo.com/

Love for Sale

It looks like the Midwestern states are having quite an impact out here on the west coast. Recently, a fellow SVM blogger wrote about her Midwest dinner gathering. Not only are foodies enjoying Midwest meals, but now the West is being introduced to another tradition hailing from the Great Lakes Region: Sweetest Day.

When KB and I first moved here 7 years ago at this time of year, he thought he struck gold! At that time, no one really celebrated, let alone heard of Sweetest Day. There were no cards in stores, no reminders to treat your significant other to a night out and heart-shaped goodies (preferably the sparkly kind). It was just a day that someone from the Midwest might remember celebrating. It's hard to believe that so much can change in just a few years.

I just spied the reminder banner announcing that "Sweetest Day is October 20th" as it hung above a now decent allotment of Sweetest Day cards at Target. Mind you, this October 20th in California, Sweetest Day will more likely be closer to what was intended by it's founders: the midwest confectioners. Just a small holiday to demonstrate good will and love among friends and loved ones with gifts of candy (of course). But just give it a few years, and then you can tell me which spa/theater event/concert/restaurant/___(fill in the blank)___ you and your significant other are attending for the holiday.

By the way, did I mention that Sweetest Day always falls on the third Saturday in October? Better put an annual reminder in your calendar!

I also write at: Silicon Valley Mom's Blog as JB.

Island Baby Boutique Giveaway

So a Blonde Walks Into a Review is extending our summer by having another awesome giveaway! The lucky winner can choose TWO products from Island Baby Boutique. You can see the selections here. Just don't forget to enter by 11:59 p.m. EST on Sunday, October 14.

To Enter: Simply link to Blonde Blogger's post and to Island Baby Boutique. Then, leave a comment with your link.

Non-bloggers are welcome to enter by going to the post letting them know what your two favorite items from Island Baby Boutique are.

Good luck!!

Photo Friday/Saturday! 10.5.6.07

Hi All! Sorry I just missed the deadline for Photo Friday. Here it is... reason #152 why we live in California!

Another sort of Mommy-Guilt.

My husband, KB, and I are celebrating our 7th year here in Silicon Valley. Wahoo!! We love it tremendously and it has a been a very good move for us. Great in fact! We have truly found our home. At the same time, since we've been here our family has grown to include 3.5 year old Poppy and just-about-to-turn-one year old Sweet Pea. Needless to say, that is where the guilt enters the picture.

Usually being so far away from our families is not so bad. In my case, being the youngest in a big family, it gives me my "breathing room." At other times, like now, I'm sorry I was born Catholic.

The girls and I just got back from visiting with both sides of the family in the Midwest. This was a terrific visit for Poppy and her cousin, R. They had a great time playing together and even though R is about 5 years older than Poppy, they seemed to be more like sisters during this visit. In fact, both girls had their first "sleep over" and then they had a second playdate since they wanted more time together. Ugh! Mommy translation: "This would happen all the time and the girls would really know each other more as cousins if we lived closer, say not 3500 miles away."

As if that wasn't bad enough, Sweet Pea is "cruising" and she took her first independent steps while we were at my parents house. Of course they were in their glory and I was more than happy that they witnessed this important milestone. The guilt came later that day when the girls and I went out to lunch with my parents and we drove by the first house that my husband and I ever owned. As we drove by, it was exciting for me to explain to Poppy that mommy and daddy planted the landscaping that was still there and thriving. And it was mommy who installed the matching porch light and mailbox that were still on the house. Then I heard my dad in the front seat say under his breath "Yeah, and we could see you guys whenever we wanted to." Ouch! Yet another splash of guilt.

While it helps that I am now a SAHM so I have enough time to visit with the girls, we also have to juggle planning these trips on a single-income budget. The old "double-edged sword" theory. So I'm wondering - how do you do it? I know that there are a ton of other parents out here in Silicon Valley in exactly our situation. What are your secrets for avoiding the family guilt?

Crossposted on Silicon Valley Mom's Blog as JB.

Make mine full size, please.

Can we talk about how difficult it is to get into a public restroom with a toddler, an infant, and a double size stroller along with all the bags, etc. that go along with a shopping trip with kids?

When you're traveling in this manner, it's like having an "extra wide load" sign hanging off you. That said, do I have to point out that these circumstances call for the chance to use the large, handicap stall? Now I know that given the option, any adult in his/her right mind prefers to use the extra-large bathroom over any of the tiny, little stalls where the door bangs your legs when you close it and it makes you feel like you have claustrophobia (even if you've never felt a bit clautrophobic at any other time in your life). I, myself, have opted for the larger stall whenever it is free and I am sans kids. However, once there, can the visit be brief when there is a line of moms waiting for that exact stall or can the person in there just tell us if there is a genuine emergency?

Here's the scoop: I'm on vacation visiting relatives out of state and our trip to the mall resulted in a detour to the "Family Restroom." Luckily I spied it on my way in to the woman's restroom and had to make a b-line to it when I discovered that I was the second mom in line for the "large stall" when 8 other small stalls remained happily unoccupied.

While I appreciate the fact that someone was kind enough to consider that there are special family needs and then go so far as to design and provide a space where one can enjoy a large space for breastfeeding with a separate space for diaper changing and even a separate connected bathroom with sink - there was still one critical design flaw:

(I couldn't resist taking a photo since I was technically a tourist.) Ugh! What happened to the mommy and daddy pictured on the sign? Nice try but I think you missed the mark!

Project: Life Change - I'm Enlisted!

Thank you Stefania/ City Mama and Jessica/ Sassafrass for initiating Project: Life Change!! I heart blogging and I heart you! For the past 11 and 1/2 months (I can't believe it has already been that long) I have been in the midst of my own Project Life Change. Now, thanks to you I have an official title for what I've been doing with the last year of my life. I'm very excited to join your fun-lovin' community of support as I continue to work at making life-changing progress.

Here are some of my own life changes. Some are bigger than others but all have been made to find the "balance" we all seek... to enjoy our families while keeping in touch with ourselves, our communities, and (for us SAHMs) our sanity by having contact with the "adult" world. TGFB! (Thank goodness for blogging!)

1) This all started with a difficult second pregnancy, 5 months of bedrest, and still my second daughter was born 5 and 1/2 weeks early - my little Sweet Pea. After realizing how lucky I was to have her (and my own life) after the premature delivery, I decided it was time to focus on family. So, I excused myself from the "professional" world to take care of Poppy (daughter number one) and Sweet Pea full-time. A real live SAHM. (God, that was scary!)

2) I sent a poem into cyberspace (as JB): After months of recuperating (with HUGE thanks to my mother-in-law who traveled from MI to Silicon Valley to help us for the first 7 weeks) I ran across a "makeover" contest on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog and created an extemporaneous poem about why I deserved a makeover.

3) I became a contributor to the Silicon Valley Moms Blog (pen name JB): While I didn't win the makeover contest, I was a finalist and got a free manicure where I met Beth and agreed to accept her invitation to blog. Thank you, Beth, for saving my sanity as a newly minted SAHM and connecting me to a great new network!

4) I made a new friend, and so did Poppy: Xiaolinmama was also a makeover finalist and we had a great time chatting while getting our manicures. In sum, we hit it off and she has been my inspiration for Life Change #5. You rock Sheila!

5) I started my own blog: Who knew that the poem I wrote on the fly would have opened these new doors for me. I now have a creative outlet, a place where my voice can be heard, and a new more intimate network where I can share my parenting challenges and successes with others who totally get it. As I commented when CityMama began her Project Life Change: "It really is true - when a door closes, a window opens. Welcome to the greatest opportunity - living your life with your beautiful family. Enjoy every moment! (& call me during the tough ones!)"

6) I have a maid service every other week: Yes, I admit I cannot "do it all" at home. I'm finding I do love to cook, I'm becoming obsessed with recipes, I don't mind doing dishes and laundry but I have never loved or been the best at the rest of the housework. (I told you they weren't all earth-shattering.)

7) I have entrepanurial thoughts almost daily: This may not sound like a Life Change but I try to give myself some time during each week to sort these out, bounce them off my sounding board (KB), and continue to work on the best ones - once in business, always in business I guess. As I continue to meet new people in the blogging world, it will be interesting to see what will develop on this level.

Again, thank you Stefania and Jessica! We Life Changers need all the freebies support we can get. Seriously, Sheila and I are working on a Mommy Martini & Manicure night out at Santana Row. Anyone else out there in too? If so, we could have something else in common on our Project Life Change list!

You can also find me at Silicon Valley Moms Blog as JB.